"Yes, as long as it's with your spouse! And it's not difficult, so it's sad so few couples succeed," says Charlie Michaels who has been living this dream for 25 years with her husband Mike Brown.
"We were clueless until a couple who had been happily married for 50 years shared their secret with us," Michaels said. "Their advice was simple: Individually and separately write down all of your expectations of marriage, compare them and agree how you will handle your differences.
"This was brilliant, because most of the disappointments in our lives are not that the actual situation is so terrible, but rather we become upset when reality differs from what we expected."
By identifying expectations you share, you build confidence, trust and develop a common focus. Uncovering differences doesn't harm your relationship as many couples fear, but merely highlights possible hotspots. By agreeing now how you will handle these differences, you turn potential disagreements into non-issues. If you wait until problems actually arise, you are much more likely to have arguments than discussions.
This process builds a strong foundation under the dreams you've been sharing, strengthens your relationship, eliminates doubts and allows you to know each other better than many couples do after years of marriage.
"Once you start talking, you realize that you have expectations for just about everything - some make you laugh, others get you talking," Charlie said. "One of our differences had to do with ironing. Mike had expected me to do the ironing. I don't iron, period. Our negotiated 'compromise' was that Mike would either send his clothes out to be ironed, iron them himself or wear them wrinkled!
"On a more serious note, we made several agreements that probably saved our marriage. One had to do with how we would spend money if we were financially destitute . a situation we never expected to face, but did within two years of getting married."
The Browns summarized their agreements into a written list called a Marriage Pact. Mike adds, "It's sort of like a sports team's playbook because we know what each of us is supposed to do in a given situation. Living by these agreements minimizes conflict and provides guidelines that make difficult decisions less traumatic. This has enabled us to enjoy each other's love and support through several situations that would have ended a weaker marriage."
Every couple's Pact will be different. In their book, "Mastering Marriage," the Browns give step-by-step directions for creating your unique Marriage Pact. Also included are other secrets they use to keep love alive, including their favorite, which only takes one second a day! Interesting quotes, real-life examples and cartoons make it a fun read.
The beautiful hardcover edition makes a perfect engagement, shower or wedding gift.
Recommended Books:
Mastering Marriage (Click Here!)
The Marriage Pact Questionnaire Playbook (Click Here!)
Charlie and Mike claim their ideas will help you be pleased with the choices you make and even happier and more in love years from now than you are today. Their readers believe them.
Until Next Time!
Jasmine
http://funweddings.blogspot.com
