Duties of the Maid / Matron of Honor

By Jasmine MacDonald 

When choosing your Maid/Matron of honor you should make sure she is someone you can depend upon through thick and thin as she will play a major role in your wedding. She can be your best friend, or a family member. Some brides are even asking their mothers' to stand up with them as their Matron of Honor.

Here are some of the duties of the Maid/Matron of Honor

1. Provides the bride with advice and moral support when she is frustrated and ready to pull her hair.

2. Helps with pre-wedding activities such as addressing invitations, making phone calls, and running errands. Often accompanies the bride when meeting caters, florist, bakers etc.

3. Helps the bride pick her gown and the bridesmaid dresses.

4. Acts as the head-bridesmaid: organizes bridesmaid's gown fittings, schedules all wedding day hair and makeup appointments, spreads the word about the bridal registry.

5. Pays for her own wedding attire (excluding flowers).

6. Attends all pre-wedding parties.

7. May host a bridal shower (with or without the help of the bridesmaids).

8. Helps the bride dress and stay calm on her wedding day.

9. Precedes the bride down the isle.

10. Holds the groom's ring until ceremony exchange (only if there is no ring-bearer).

11. Arranges bride's veil and train during ceremony.

12. Holds bride's bouquet during part of the ceremony.

13. May stand in receiving line.

14. May sign the wedding certificate as a witness.

15. Helps the bride get ready for her honeymoon when leaving the reception.

16. After the reception she gathers up any gifts, and makes sure they are brought safely to the couple's home.

17. In the days following the reception she will make sure any rental items are returned to the store. She may also take the bride's wedding gown to the dry-cleaners so it can be preserved properly (Hint: The sooner the gown is dry-cleaned, the less chance there are of permanent stains!)

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15 Things a Great Bridesmaid Will Do

While every bride would love to have her bridesmaid take away all the stress of the wedding, that isn't always reality. But here are some ideas on how she can make the process a bit easier.

1. GIVE YOU HONEST (but gentle) opinions as you try on dresses.

2. WEEP (along with your mom) when you finally emerge from the dressing room wearing The One.

3. CREATE a "tasteful" bachelorette-party wardrobe for you—diamond tiara, fluffy pink boa.

4. OFFER to do your hair and makeup on the wedding day.

5. STUFF 167 candy-favor bags without complaining or eating one single jellybean.

6. RECORD GIFTS at your bridal shower (in legible handwriting).

7. RUN OUT to pick up last-minute items on the wedding day.

8. CALL YOU OUT for bad behavior (i.e., making the matron of honor promise not to get pregnant before the wedding).

9. LEND YOU a shoulder to cry on when the stress gets to be too much.

10. SPEND THE NIGHT before the wedding at your place to talk, laugh, and calm your nerves.

11. DECORATE the outdoor-reception venue in scorching afternoon heat, minus any whining.

12. START DANCING to get the reception crowd up.

13. GIVE YOUR MOM special attention at the wedding—it's her day, too.

14. DEAL WITH THE DJ the second he starts spinning "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
which she knows is song number one on your "don't play—ever!" list.

15. TEXT YOU post-honeymoon for drinks on Thursday night...like always.

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How to Be a Good Bridesmaid

Bottom line is that a bridesmaid is an essential helper before, during and after a wedding. There are the obvious things like helping the bride go to the bathroom at the wedding, attending all the showers and bachelorette parties, making sure she eats the day of the wedding, but here are some overlooked pointers that in my mind are ABSOLUTE MUSTS:

Opinions:

Before you get into the nitty-gritty of wedding details take a minute to ask the bride how she wants your opinions. Here are some possible ways to approach this: Does she want you to tell her every thought that comes to your mind when she shows you her dream wedding dress? Does she want you to read her expressions and generally agree with whatever she seems to be liking (this was what I wanted, basically just a confidence boost)? Does she want honest opinions no matter what? This step can really help avoid pre-wedding fights or extra stress on the bride.

Money:

Before you accept the bride’s request to be one of her bridesmaids ask her how much she thinks you’ll be spending. If she’s not sure about the bridesmaid budget, and you don’t have $500 to spend on everything, let her know from the beginning. With the economy as terrible as it is right now you need to approach this gracefully and efficiently. If you are in serious money trouble, you need to tell the bride. If you accept and don’t tell her it can seriously cause unnecessary stress later on when you can’t afford the dress she loves or the Vegas weekend she has her eye on for the bachelorette party. No matter how much you love this bride, it’s not fair to you to spend money you don’t have and it’s not fair to the bride to commit to spending money you don’t have.

Speak up:

When there is something you aren’t comfortable with. I recently ran into this issue with my good friend Meggan. She picked out a really cute dress from David’s Bridal that I’m excited to wear, but then she chose the shoes. They are beautiful gold heels, but they are 4 inch heels. I don’t do heels, I just can’t. I’ve tried, I have terrible balance, and if I fall at her wedding I will die! I felt terrible about this. Meggan is super cute and such a great friend that I was just afraid to bring it up because I didn’t want to upset her. Unfortunately I waited too long and all the other bridesmaids bought the shoes. Once I talked to her she couldn’t change the shoes obviously, so she decided I could just wear the heels in pictures and really similar flat sandals for the ceremony and the rest of the day.

Don’t talk about yourself too much:

This is the brides one and only wedding (hopefully). She wants your opinions on HER wedding, not what you want for your own wedding. I don’t care if you’re getting married two days after her. Here’s a perfect example of what NOT to do. Bride: “I really want a dress that is ivory and covered in lace.” Bridesmaid: “Oh me too, I love lace, I can’t wait to get married.” Here’s an example of what you SHOULD do: Bride: “I really want a dress that is ivory and covered in lace.” Bridesmaid: “Oh that is so you, it will be perfect!”

Go to the maid of honor whenever possible:

If you have questions that you think the MOH can answer, go to her if possible. It is awesome if the bride keeps everyone up to the minute with information, but if not ask the MOH because most likely if you have a question the other Bridesmaids do too.

So in general you really need to communicate with the bride in the beginning, ask her how you can help, what she needs from you and be honest about what you can do up front. I hope this helps bridesmaids and brides as they prepare for the big day! Don’t worry all you amazing bridesmaids out there who are thinking “Yeah I would totally love to help if my friend weren’t such a crazy bridezilla!” I’m going to start working on a “How to Be a Good Bride” post soon so keep checking back for that.

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All About Bridesmaids’ Luncheons

By Cori Locklin

Gather with the girls one last time before the main event.

Let’s face it – weddings go by in such a blur that after the dishes have cleared and the flowers begin to wilt, many brides realize they never really had a chance to spend some quality time with their nearest and dearest. That’s what makes bridesmaids luncheons so great – they afford the perfect opportunity to get together and enjoy some quality female bonding with your closest girlfriends one last time before the main event. They’re entirely optional, but this fun and typically hassle free soiree is definitely worth your while. So what does it entail?

Read on to find out…

What Is It

Bridesmaids luncheons are an opportunity for you to gather with your bridesmaids before the wedding and thank them for being a part of your wedding party. Think of the bridesmaids’ luncheon or tea like a reverse bridal shower – in which you’re now the hostess instead of the maids. The etiquette surrounding the bridesmaids’ luncheon is pretty flexible, so feel free to adapt to suit your needs. The “luncheon” can be dinner, brunch, an afternoon of pampering at the nearby spa, or a group activity of some kind. The event can be formal and elegant or casual and fun.

When Is It

The bridesmaids luncheon usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. This allows any out-of-town bridesmaids traveling to the wedding to make it in one trip. However, if you fear the days leading up to the wedding will be too action packed and stressful, you may choose to have it earlier – especially if all your maids live in-town.

Who Hosts

Usually, you (the bride), your mom, or another close friend or family member hosts in honor of your bridesmaids. Sometimes the bridesmaids may host in honor of the bride, but this isn’t as common.

Who’s Invited

Obviously all of the bridesmaids and junior bridesmaids will be in attendance, along with your mom and your fiancé’s mom. Other attendees may include your close female relatives – sisters, cousins, aunts - as well as any flower girls. Regardless, it’s usually best to try to keep it intimate. This may be one of the few times during the whirlwind wedding weekend when you can relax and enjoy some close, quiet time with the special women in your life. Think of it as a bittersweet, fond farewell.

Where is It

Bridesmaids’ luncheons can take place anywhere – although the venue should be close to the wedding and accommodations for any bridesmaids who may be traveling. If your maids are all staying at the same hotel, the hotel dining room or other function room makes a great and convenient location. Restaurants, tearooms and country clubs also make good locations, or it can take place at the hostess’s home.

What Happens

Unlike showers, bridesmaids’ luncheons aren’t typically centered around planned games and activities. The one constant is that you thank your bridesmaids - either formally in a prepared speech or toast, or one-on-one throughout the event. The luncheon is also a great time to present your bridesmaids’ gifts – along with any gifts to the moms and grandmothers in attendance.

The girls may also present you with your something old, new, borrowed and blue, or if the maids went in on a group gift, they may present it at the luncheon. Other activity ideas? The married guests can come prepared with an anecdote about marriage or advice.

Ideas & Trends

So sipping tea and nibbling finger sandwiches isn’t your thing? Don’t worry, you’re not required to plan a formal luncheon. Use your imagination to craft an event your circle will enjoy. Here are some fun “tea and crumpets” alternatives.

a picnic
a hike
a wine tasting
a slumber party
a visit to an art exhibit, museum, aquarium, zoo – or any other cultural activity

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Additional Wedding Planning Reading

http://merrybrides.livejournal.com
http://funweddings.blog.com
http://weddingsbyashlee.blogspot.com
http://windsor.weddingwindow.com






























Cori Locklin is editor-in-chief for http://www.elegala.com/ and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a new wedding planning resource offering the most comprehensive portfolio of superior wedding reception sites and wedding services, along with planning tips, photo galleries and checklists to keep brides in-the-know on today's wedding trends and styles.